


Why can't you see how beautiful you are?

by sammywolfdamon



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Boners, Awkward Sexual Situations, Blue Balls, Bottom Jared Padalecki, Bottom Jensen, Boys In Love, Everyone Is Gay, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Sorry, Jared Has a Big Dick, M/M, Meet-Cute, On Set, Penis Size, Pre-Season/Series 01, Protective Jensen Ackles, Sensitive Jared, Sexual Tension, Shy Jared, Size Difference, Size Kink, Slow Burn, Smut, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Top Jared Padalecki, Top Jensen, is that too much to ask?, jared just wants to find love and an ass that can take his dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2019-08-19 04:36:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16527497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammywolfdamon/pseuds/sammywolfdamon
Summary: Jared Padalecki has just booked the part of Sam Winchester on the new WB show Supernatural. He's taken on the new show for a change of pace, a new life, and maybe a first love?orJared has a massive cock and moves to Vancouver for the Supernatural pilot hoping to find someone willing to take his dick.





	1. A Big Problem

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all. i'm not really sure what filthy, fucked-up mess i've created here, but i hope you enjoy. it gets tender and sweet, i promise
> 
> :)

Jared had dealt with his… affliction, you could call it, since he was 11. At first, it had just been fun, a cool bit of leverage he knew he held over his classmates. But then, as the years went by, the problem became increasingly difficult to deal with. It had made everyday activities a hardship. Swimming, running, getting changed in the school locker room, dealing with nerves. Hell, even walking was a challenge at times.

 

He had to pick out his clothing very carefully in order to manage and conceal his issue. Extra-long shirts, only dark pants and always denim jeans if possible, never shorts and certainly never jockstraps. He could hide it, but there was no point denying it.

 

Jared Padalecki had a huge dick.

 

Maybe it was his Polish heritage or some weird genetic mutation, but for Jared, not only did puberty bring him a lower voice and body hair and reckless sensibilities, it brought him a cock that seemed to never stop growing. Until finally, sometime around the Thanksgiving break of his sophomore year, it did.

 

It was 7.5 inches long and as thick as a can of shaving cream. _Soft_.

 

In order to contain it, Jared had to wear tight briefs and tuck his dick under himself, leaving the circumcised head of his cock resting in the lower cleft of his posterior between his two ass cheeks. It didn’t help that additionally, he still bulged a fair bit even in tight briefs because of his large, kiwifruit-sized balls that pushed out his shaft against the fabric.

 

Jared went to regular check-ups with his doctor, because he knew that the near constant constraint he inflicted upon his penis was bound to bring down his sperm count. Amazingly though, according to his doctor, his sperm count was fine, _every single time_. The doctor had told him that it was probably for the best that he “kept his monster hidden”. So Jared did.

 

Still, even with his whole containment situation, he wore boxers over his briefs just so that, when he need to get changed in front of others, he could _appear_ normal.

 

Whenever Jared was hard, however, that’s when the real trouble took place. Whether it was caused by a particularly attractive school teacher or a compulsory oral presentation where he had to stand in front of the class, Jared’s cock found a way to ruin his every aspect of his teenage life. Thank god Jared had found acting as an outlet. It was a miracle he hadn’t made his way out of Texas quicker than he did.

 

Jared was just glad that it was over. In the years since his dick stopped growing, Jared only wore dark denim jeans, making his appendage not visible to the public. Jared had tried since he was 15 to fully submerge his dick inside a hole, with varying degrees of success. But, after years of disappointment in the form of disappearing dates, half-assed blowjobs many, _many_ screams of: “I’M NOT LETTING YOU PUT THAT THING IN ME!”, he had come to a point in his life that he had just stopped trying.

 

Jared hadn’t put his dick inside a man’s ass since he was 19.

 

Jared had known he was gay since the moment he jerked off for the first time to the mental image of the local teen pool lifeguard back in Texas. He had become a bottom due to the lack of guys willing to take his cock, and although he didn’t like it at first, he had learnt to love it. The slap of balls against his perineum, the heat of a crotch flush against his hole, the achingly _full_ sensation he felt when he was being fucked.

 

Then again, none of Jared’s encounters had ever really been of great significance, and not a single one had lasted longer than a one-night stand. And he shouldn’t have been surprised, he had, after all, been living in Los Angeles, the vainest, phoniest city on earth.

 

He would discreetly go to the few gay bars and clubs around and grind up on a guy, get them to go back to his apartment and then surprise them with: “I’m actually a bottom.”

 

Some guys accepted it and just continued on with the evening, whereas others would ask why before Jared dutifully took off his clothes and showed them the _why_. Most were discouraged by that point.

 

Then there were the courageous few who would say, “Don’t worry, I can take it!”

 

They would only get a third of the way down before asking to stop and mumbling, “Maybe I could just top?”

Nine times out of ten, Jared ended up receiving a lame, gagging blowjob before lubing himself up for whatever sorry guy had to deal with him that night. He couldn’t help but feel like a freak. Nobody was ever going to want to commit to a relationship with him, not with his over-sized dick getting in the way.

 

Then again, Jared had just moved to Vancouver to shoot for a pilot for another WB show that had captured his and his agent’s attention called _Supernatural_. Jared had been looking for a change of pace from the doe-eyed family melodrama _Gilmore Girls_ and the pilot script seemed like a good one. Maybe he could find a nice, committed guy who wasn’t scared of his dick up in Vancouver. Everyone in Canada was meant to be nice, right?

 

On lonely nights spent in his trailer, Jared had discovered the internet and more importantly, internet porn. All the guys and girls that Jared had seen in pornos had all loved big dicks, and Jared’s wasn’t _that_ much bigger than the ones in those films. So why didn’t anybody like him?

 

Jared was resigned to the fact that he was going to be a bottom for the rest of his life, and he was mostly okay with it. There were just times he wished that maybe, just maybe, there would be someone out there willing to take his hard cock in their ass.

 

9.8 inches wasn’t _too_ much to handle, right?


	2. Green Eyes and Kind Smiles

Jared could feel himself shaking, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that—just like all those clichés he had read about in books—his knuckles had actually turned white.

 

 _Goddamnit Padalecki, get a grip!_ Jared thought.

 

It was the morning of his screen test with the guy that the casting team for _Supernatural_ had picked to play his older brother. Jared was brimming with nervous energy, and the fact that he had forgotten what the guy’s _freaking name was_ only succeeded in piling onto his already jostled bundle of nerves and anxiety, resulting in an unfortunate erection that was straining against Jared’s tight briefs with ferocity.

 

He knew that it started with a  _J_ , just like him, so why couldn’t he remember? Jared was such an idiot.

 

 _Surely he’ll introduce himself,_ Jared reassured himself, only half-believing it. _Surely_.

 

Turning up the radio a little louder, Jared exhaled sharply and drove onwards, unsure of what was to come.

 

<->

 

The waiting room outside of the screen test room at the WB Television Network studios was unwelcoming, to say the least. As soon as he walked in, Jared could recognise the heartlessness of the world of television in the barely-used water bubbler, the slowly dying bouquet of flowers; hell, even the stark, bleached white walls. Jared had gotten there early, and it was days like this, alone in empty room, when he questioned his career of choice.

 

Jared sat in the uncomfortable chair, knee bobbing up and down distractedly. He could feel his balls jiggling on the underside of his meticulously-placed dick, giving Jared yet another thing to get anxious about.

 

The door at the entrance swung open and Jared looked up instinctively, expecting an executive or something of the like.

 

It wasn’t an executive.

 

The man on the other side of the room was over at the reception desk and standing steady, legs a fair distance apart and feet firmly planted, an air of confidence and complete and total control about him. Wearing denim jeans with a plain white t-shirt and a charcoal jacket that spread tightly over his broad shoulders, the guy looked like the epitome of the Americana bad boy, in Jared’s opinion.

 

The man turned around and Jared’s breath hitched.

 

Startlingly bright green eyes stared back into his own, hypnotising Jared into a dream-like trance. Jared could feel them piercing him, looking into his soul. And then there was the man’s _lips_.

 

Jared had never seen a man whose lips looked so… _feminine_ . Surrounded by a strong jawline and some light stubble, the lips were pink and positively pouty. Jared felt his dick stir in his jeans.

 

“Hey man,” the man said, walking towards Jared and snapping him out of his haze of attraction. “I’m Jensen,” he said, putting out his hand and grasping Jared’s in a firm handshake. Jared recovered barely and smiled awkwardly, with Jensen kindly smiling back and carrying on the conversation that Jared clearly could not. “You must be Jared. Nice to meet you.”

 

 _C’mon man. Say something!_ Jared screamed internally.

 

“Nice to meet you too,” he managed, realising then that he was still shaking Jensen’s hand before letting go and standing up out of his chair, feeling like an absolute fool. Jensen was so kind and Jared was such a dork.

 

 _He’s never gonna wanna work with me,_ Jared ruminated miserably.

 

Now at a higher vantage point, Jared noticed how a crease appeared in his cheeks when he smiled, which Jared could not help but find hopelessly adorable.

 

“I can see why they cast us as brothers,” Jensen chuckled. “We’ve both got the height,” he added. Jared would have been lying if he said that when he heard Jensen mention their height, his balls didn’t pulse in excitement.

 

“Haha yeh,” Jared replied, wracking his brains for something to say so as to not be perceived as a total loser. “You know,” Jared said, finding himself still staring into Jensen’s eyes, “I think I’ve seen you before, you look so familiar. What other work have you done?”

 

_Seriously? ‘You look familiar?’ Idiot._

“Oh you know, stuff here and there,” Jensen answered, walking over to the water cooler and filling up a plastic cup. Jared had the feeling he was being modest, because he had _definitely_ seen his face on television before. “I um, actually have worked a bit with the WB before,” Jensen elaborated, bringing the plastic cup to his kissable lips, Jared relishing in the contrast of pink against white.

 

 _Good. A connection. At least even if he thinks I’m a total invalid we’ll have something to bond over,_ Jared thought.

 

“Oh okay, cool. I’ve worked with the WB before as well,” Jared offered, sticking his idle hands into the pockets of his denim jeans.

 

“Yeh I thought so,” Jensen said. “I think I’ve seen you on _Gilmore Girls_.”

 

Jared was amazed and mortified. Jensen, this beautiful man was way too cool to be watching something as ordinary as _Gilmore Girls_.

 

 _Don’t be stupid Jared,_ Jared reprimanded himself, _he probably just saw you while flicking channels._

Jared started sheepishly, “Haha… yeh uhh-“

 

“I actually watched a couple episodes off of a VCR my sister Mackenzie made with recordings of it to see who I was going to be working with,” Jensen said, hitting Jared once again with that 1000-watt smile. “You were good man.”

 

Jared could not believe it, and instantly felt an immense amount of guilt settle into his bones, angry at himself for not having done the same amount of research on his co-star-to-be.

 

“That’s kind of you. I don’t think I’m much good honestly,” Jared admittedly sheepishly. “I’m honestly even amazed that I got cast in this.” Jared watched as Jensen’s face changed from a smile to one of concern.

 

“Hey,” Jensen said strongly, placing a strong, large hand on Jared’s left shoulder, “You’re meant to be here. And besides, they’ve cast us because they think that we’ll have chemistry, so if you can’t believe in yourself, know that everyone else here does.”

 

Jared was speechless. How could this guy who he just met be so kind and giving to a guy he barely knew?

 

“Thanks man,” Jared eventually got out, cursing himself for not thinking of any other reply or compliment for Jensen.

 

“Jared Padal- _eeky…_ and Jensen Ackles?” Called out the woman from the reception desk, causing he and Jensen to turn. “They’re expecting you.”

 

“Thanks ma’am,” Jensen said, turning and walking down the corridor towards the grey door. Jared nodded at the receptionist and sped up to Jensen.

 

“Sometimes I curse my family for being Polish,” Jared joked, hoping to elicit another smile from Jensen. What he got instead was a bright, booming laugh from Jensen that Jared reckoned he could listen to all day.

 

Jensen clapped Jared on the back like an old friend and chuckled again, “Come on Mr Padal-eeky.”

 

<->

  
“I mean, come on,” Jared huffed, following slowly behind Jensen across the audition room floor, feeling painfully aware of his penis at that moment. “You can't just break in, middle of the night, and expect me to hit the road with you.”

  
Jensen stopped and turned around, looking at Jared intensely, pleading with him with his eyes. “You're not hearing me, Sammy,” Jensen said, turning up the desperation. “Dad's missing. I need you to help me find him.”

  
“You remember the poltergeist in Amherst? Or the Devil's Gates in Clifton? He was missing then, too,” Jared countered. “He's always missing, and he's always fine.”

  
“Not for this long,” Jensen said gravely. “Now are you gonna come with me or not?” Jensen questioned, hands on hips, a challenging look in his eye.

  
Jared stared back, not backing down. “I'm not.”

  
Jensen was incredulous. “Why not?” he implored.  
  


Jared set his jaw and grit his teeth before swallowing. “I swore I was done hunting. For good,” he affirmed. Jared hoped that this was going well. He hadn’t heard any negative grunts or hushed whispering yet from the writers or casting directors.

  
“Come on. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't that bad,” Jensen said, less than convincingly.”  
  


Now it was Jared’s turn to look incredulous. “Yeah?” Jared remarked sarcastically. “When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45.”

  
Jensen threw his hands up in the air, eyebrows knitted in frustration. “Well, what was he supposed to do?”

  
Jared stood with his mouth agape and waited a beat before replying. “I was nine years old!” He was _supposed_ to say, don't be afraid of the dark.”

  
“Don't be afraid of the dark?” Jensen whisper-shouted. “Are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark.” Jensen knitted his eyebrows even further together. “You know what's out there,” Jensen said, lowering his voice and gesturing vaguely.

  
“Yeah, I know, but still,” Jared reasoned, with a hint of sadness creeping into his voice. “The way we grew up, after Mom was killed, a-and Dad's obsession to find the thing that killed her…” Jared looked down while Jensen looked off in the distance, both totally in the moment. “But we still haven't found the damn thing. So we kill everything we  _can_  find,” Jared said distastefully.

 

Jensen’s piercing emerald eyes looked back into Jared’s, and Jared couldn’t help but feel a kind of tension forming between the two of them. Whatever it was, it was _intense_. “We save a lot of people doing it, too,” Jensen said matter-of-factly.

  
Jared paused before asking. “You think Mom would have wanted this for us?”

 

Jensen rolls his eyes obnoxiously.

  
“The weapon training, and melting the silver into bullets?” Jared continued in a discerning tone. “Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors,” Jared said, chuckling mirthlessly.

  
“So what are you gonna do?” Jensen asked testily. “You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?”

  
“No.” Jared shook his head and looked up. “Not normal. Safe.”

   
A look of understanding came over Jensen’s face, but he remained bitter. “And that's why you ran away,” Jensen said, clenching his jaw and looking away.

  
“I was just going to college,” Jared fired back. “It was Dad who said if I was gonna go I should stay gone.” Jared said, letting the feeling of not being wanted paint his face. “And that's what I'm doing.”

  
Jensen’s face fell. “Yeah, well, Dad's in real trouble right now. If he's not dead already.” Jensen’s voice wavered, and Jared couldn’t help but want to reach out and hug him and tell him it was all going to be okay. “I can feel it.”

 

Remembering that he was still in a scene, Jared steeled himself again.

  
“I can't do this alone,” Jensen said.

  
“Yes you can,” Jared replied dismissively, making a conscious effort not to look at Jensen.

  
Jensen’s gaze had dropped but he looked back up and stared into Jared once more. “Yeah, well, I don't want to.”

  
Jared sighed and looked down, making a show of being deep in thought. “What was he hunting?”

 

Jensen went to open his mouth, but was cut off, much to Jared’s disappointment.

 

“That was great, guys, we’ve seen enough,” the creator, Eric Kripke, if Jared was remembering correctly, interrupted from the table of executives. “You two are perfect. Exactly what I had in mind for the role.”

 

Jared smiled bashfully. “Thanks so much sir.”

 

Kripke nodded contentedly. “Just call me Eric. And what about you guys? You feel good working together?” Eric inquired.

 

Jared looked over at Jensen and the handsome blond smiled back. “I feel really good about this,” Jensen said happily. “Working with Jared felt awesome.”

 

“Likewise,” Jared said, smiling at the executives and then at Jensen again, “Working with you was great.”

 

<->

 

The meeting finished up and Jared and Jensen finalised contract negotiations and excitedly talked about the arc of the show with the creators moving forward. Once it was over, Jensen and Jared walked out of the room after being told that they would start filming in one week.

 

Walking back down the hallway, Jared was feeling positively giddy with excitement. Not only was the pilot great, but the guy he was walking alongside right now was so incredibly kind and talented. Jared felt like a schoolgirl.

 

 _Count my lucky stars,_ Jared thought dreamily.

 

“Well man,” Jensen said, opening the door for the two of them out into the parking lot, “I’ll see you in one week.”

 

Jared grinned. “Yeh man, it was really good meeting you.”

 

“ _Likewise,_ ” Jensen mimicked, imitating Jared’s response in the writers’ room. “I’m really glad they chose you for the part of Sam,” Jensen said kindly, bringing Jared into a quick hug. Jared felt warm and safe in Jensen’s arms.

 

The close contact of their bodies was the most humanly contact Jared had received from another guy in _months_ , and Jared revelled in how it felt to be close to someone, to feel the broad muscles of Jensen’s back, to inhale his fresh, clean scent, to feel his breath on his neck.

 

Jared pulled away first, knowing that even letting the hug go on _one second_ too long might make Jensen wary of him.

 

“I’ll see you next week.”

 

Jared walked towards his car as Jensen walked towards his, mulling over all the good that had happened that day. He looked over to Jensen’s car and chuckled as Jensen winked at him jokingly before climbing in, and Jared’s heart just about melted.

 

_Oh my god, I’m in love with my co-star._

 

Jared climbed into his own car and heard Jensen roar out of the carpark, cursing himself as he noticed that he had acquired a semi-hard-on from he and Jensen's hug. Turning on the radio once more, Jared drove away, head swimming with anticipation and anxiety for the first day of shooting. Shooting with a man who was kind and good and Adonis-incarnate. A man who Jared was insanely attracted to, but had to maintain a healthy and professional relationship for however long this show lasted.

 

What could go wrong?


	3. Wet Dream

Jared groaned quietly. He knew he was sleeping, was aware of his dream-state, even as he stood there. And where he stood was in the bathroom. But not just in any bathroom – no, he was in the bathroom of what he imagined to be Jensen’s trailer.

It wasn't because he recognised a bathroom that he had never seen before that tipped him off to being unconscious. Rather, it was the lean, chiseled form that stood beneath the rushing water in front of him. Droplets of water sped off smooth, tan skin that was usually covered by denim and flannel, making Jensen look exotic and even sexier than usual. Jared had no idea that this was even possible, but apparently it was. His eyes trailed down from the back of Jensen's neck, following the topography of musculature between his shoulder blades, grazing his sides and taking in the rigid indentations of his muscles just peaking from his stomach.

Jared let himself ogle the man further as his eyes tipped even lower, his breath becoming stuck when viewing the firm, taut cheeks of his ass, so perfectly curved, swooping inward with muscular curvature. Then down, down, down the man's long legs. Soft looking skin stretched out over lengthy, sinewy muscle, roping around Jensen's thighs and calves. The water continued pouring over his head, his once dirty-blonde hair now dark and glistening with the dampness, the water rolling down his neck and back and ass and legs. 

_Yep,_ Jared thought to himself mid-dream,  _this is_ _definitely not real._

Jared licked his lips as he ran his flat palm down from the nape of his own neck and slowly down his chest and stomach. Unlike the man before him in the shower, Jared was clothed from the waist down. His fingers grazed over his sensitive skin and he let them quickly brush over one of his hardened nipples. He let out a small gasp, but didn't pause his hand, which tickled down to the wisps of hair emerging from his waistline. He kept going, his hand lightly running over the hulking bulge of growing thickness painfully trapped within his jeans. As his fingers ran over the spot where the bulbous head of his cock rested, he couldn't hold back anymore. He let out a lascivious moan which was loud enough to attract Jensen's attention at last.

The older man kept his back toward Jared but turned his head to look at him. His expression was passive for a moment until his bright green eyes flashed radiantly and a smile shone from his pearly whites.

Jared took in how slow and deliberate Jensen was with his movement as he turned his body to face Jared. Once his front was completely exposed, Jared held his breath and sang the national anthem inside his head as to try and prevent himself from looking south. If he did, he knew he'd be screwed – in more way than one.

Jensen's grinned widened the longer that Jared refrained from letting his eyes drop down. Shaking his head lightly in amusement he stepped out from under the spray, lifting his legs over the tub and making the short stride to locate himself directly in front of Jared. The gap between them was very small. If Jared wanted a peak at Jensen's most private regions now, he'd have to bend his head down which would most definitely brush against Jensen's naked and glistening chest. Jared gulped audibly as he tipped his head ever so slightly downward so that he could stare into the eyes of the man who was only just a bit shorter than him.

Jensen leaned forward until his face was mere inches from Jared's. He then lifted his hands until they just barely rested on top of either of Jared's shoulders. Jared did his best to hide the shiver that ran through him. Jensen proceeded to slowly trail his own fingers down the Jared’s arms, redirecting their path to cross over the clavicle and then down the chest, just as Jared had been doing to himself only moments before. He let both hands graze both nipples and this time Jared was completely incapable of hiding the shiver that ran through his entire body. Jensen's fingers slid further down the boy's lean stomach, stopping at his belt. His green eyes darted up from Jared's chest in order to meet his wide, tawny gaze.

Fingertips still resting at the belt buckle, Jensen shifted slightly, so that his head tilted toward Jared's ear.

"This isn't going to work, now is it?" He asked gruffly.

Jared stiffened, interpreting the man's words as a rejection. But he didn't have even a second to attempt backing away, for Jensen's fingers immediately went to work on the belt buckle, lifting it up and loosening it before his fingers threaded down to unhook the button of his jeans. Jared thought his knees might buckle and give out as Jensen ever so slowly unzipped the zipper.

Coyly, Jensen bit his lip as he looked at Jared and _god_ , Jared loved the sight. In the back of his mind Jared knew that he may never see Jensen look like this, not in reality. He might never look into Jensen's eyes and see mirth and playful expectation, so he was determined to soak up every single precious second that his unconscious mind was gifting him.

Jensen leaned in again, this time letting his lips brush Jared's earlobe as he whispered, "Much better."

Jared was barely keeping it together. Jensen pushed down at the waistband of his jeans, slowly moving the denim down past Jared's hips until they reached a point where they could slide down on their own. It took a conscious effort for Jared to slightly lift up each leg out of the fabric at his feet and kick the pants out of the way, his protruding erection straining dangerously against the fabric of his briefs. Jared stayed completely still when Jensen started to bend his knees.

As the man lowered, his fingers, which were dipped into the waistband of his boxers and briefs, gently began to slide down with the fabric in tow. Jared bit down hard on his lips and panicked, wondering what Jensen’s reaction would be to his appendage. Jensen slithered down until his head was in line with his cock and then the fabric barring it from Jensen's view was tugged down to his ankles. Jared was fully exposed and Jensen had the best seat in the house. Jensen tapped at Jared's ankles, signaling him to lift up, which he did, pushing the boxers and briefs out of the way with the jeans.

Jensen tilted his chin upward and stared up at Jared. It was the sexiest thing Jared had ever seen in his entire life. Deliberately, Jensen licked his lower lip as he gazed up at the boy, and Jared's cock twitched lazily at the sight, the heavy weight of his dick preventing further movement. Jensen caught it in his peripheral and the devilish grin was back in place. Jensen placed his fingers at Jared's ankles and leisurely, with the palms of his hands facing himself, began to drag his nails up Jared's legs. He dipped them toward his fleshy inner thigh, meticulously grazing the skin, inching closer and closer to Jared's groin.

The boy's heart sped faster in anticipation, but the closer Jensen got the Jared's cock, which took up a fair amount of space, he flared his trail out, going up the thighs and bypassing his private area completely. Once his fingers were at Jared's hips, Jensen flipped his hands and pressed the pads of his fingertips firmly into his hips, grasping them as he lifted himself upright again.

"What do you want?" Jensen asked, his gaze boring into Jared's.

Jared was harder than he could ever remember being. Ever. Jensen Ackles, the most beautiful, sexy, kind, and helpful man on the face of the planet had been served to him naked in his dreams. He couldn't help but think that someone upstairs really liked him, because it was like a gift from heaven above. He could do no wrong here. This dream had one purpose, and one purpose alone, and by god, Jared was going to take advantage of it!

Jared's breath hitched, but he still leaned forward, eyes lifting up through hooded passion, until his nose was almost brushing Jensen's.

"You."

The corner of Jensen's lip turned up and he stretched out his arms in invitation.

"Well, then," it felt almost as if Jensen's deep voice was rumbling through into Jared, "Take what you want."

Jared flashed a small smile, but wasted no time. His fingers found Jensen's own hips and he held down with more pressure than Jensen had put on him, before dragging his fingers up to his sides, not lessening the pressure and leaving trails from his fingertips for blood to rush to. Jensen's skin was just as smooth as Jared had expected.

"Mine." Jared growled impressively, sounding almost like some kind of hungry animal.

Jensen's nostrils flared out and he gazed at Jared with lust and a bit of surprise at the fierce tone of Jared's voice. With an eyebrow arched he managed to nod in agreement.

Jared lessened the pressure and tickled his fingertips across the man's waistline, dawdling there until Jensen was lulled away from immediate erotic expectancy, into the complacency of foreplay. As soon as Jared could tell Jensen no longer expected any brash, sexual gesture, he reached down and grabbed a hold of Jensen's hard, long length, the full details of it frustratingly vague as they tended to be in dreams.

Jensen moaned loudly in surprise, his head tilting backward at the pleasure of being held by Jared's long, warm fingers. His palm pressed against the base of Jensen's cock, and it was already too much. Jensen couldn't hold back, and let out an animalistic growl before grabbing hold of Jared's shoulders and roughly shoving him backward until he was pressed up against the bathroom wall. Jensen didn't hesitate, he just pressed his body hard against Jared's. Jared had released hold of Jensen's cock as soon as he was being shoved backward, so the man's length was now pinned between them, pressed against his thigh. Jared's own cock was rubbing up against Jensen's rock hard abdominal muscles.

Jensen growled again, shoving his head in the crook of Jared's neck. His tongue darted out, tasting him from just beneath the earlobe, trailing his tongue down to the boy's clavicle and then up again. He nipped at Jared's neck, sharp teeth erotically biting at skin.

He pulled back and barked, "And mine."

Jared nodded frantically, groaning as he tried to push his erection closer to Jensen.

Jensen's hand reached down between them and grabbed a hold of Jared's cock and –

 

Jared bolted up in bed abruptly, soaked in sweat and huffing heavy breaths.  _FUCK_. What the  _hell_  was this? He groaned, because sweat wasn’t the only thing soaking him. Seriously? A  _wet dream?_  It had been a couple of years since the last one. He thought that it wasn't possible after a certain age. Had it really been that long since he had ejaculated? He shuddered from the goosebumps on his skin, and also because the vivid images of dreamworld were still fresh.  _Fuck_. He repeated the sentiment as he fell back on the bed and covered his face, thinking the dream felt way too real.  _And way too good_.

<->

Jared had gotten over the shock of waking to find a load in his pants, but the wet dream had still left him shaken. He needed to clean up before it all started to dry, so he waddled his way to the bathroom for a middle of the night shower, his softening cock swinging between his legs like a goddamn pendulum. As he peeled his boxers off, he gave a small shudder and immediately put them in the hamper. He ran the shower until it was hot, getting in only when it seared his skin. He let the rush of water wash away his tension and delicate bits, lathering up only after his skin had become numb from the heat. As he got into the rhythm of washing his body, he let his eyes slip shut. It was a terrible idea, because he couldn't keep the memory of the dream from passing under his lids; Vivid flashes of Jensen's eyes, tongue poking from between his lips obscenely as it searched for Jared's nipple, torso, leg, _cock_. He swore he could feel Jensen’s strong hands in his shoulder blades as real as though the man were actually with him in the shower.

That would never happen. Ever. Jared knew. And Jensen’s _okayness_ with his cock was also another aspect of the increasingly ludicrous dream he had just had. But it was 3am and Jared’s head wasn’t walking properly. It took Jared no time at all to grab hold of his hard-again cock, forehead pressed to the wall of the shower, as this time he consciously and willingly fantasized. His lungs began to fill with the steam of water and his pleasure, making it harder to breathe with each heavy-handed stroke. He balled the fist of his free hand and slammed it against the shower wall above his head, before slowly unfurling it and letting his palm slide down the slick surface. 

He swore to himself under his breath, pleasure steadily building, pooling in the pit of his stomach for the second time that night. He could pretend the obscene sound of soap and stroking was instead Jensen's luscious mouth, tongue swirling and lips sucking. He could imagine grabbing the man by his  _perfect_  fucking hair, and sucking on his (admittedly imagined)   _perfect_ fucking dick.

Throwing his head back, Jared choked out a strangled moan, climaxing to the image of Jensen looming over him- he could feel the man's breath at his neck if he concentrated hard enough. 

As all of his guilty pleasure swirled down the drain, Jared let go of himself and gave a shudder. He swore again and swallowed a huge lump in his throat, his hand moving to swivel the faucet all the way to 'cold'. Tomorrow it was his first day on set, and Jensen was going to be there. 

 

_Awkward_.


	4. On Set

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone I'm back! So sorry this took so long. Some of you lovely readers pointed out that it's been aaaages since I've updated it and I decided with some coercion from you guys that I need to continue this to get myself (and hopefully you folks) through hell-atus. Enjoy!

Jared groggily arose from his slumber to an unfortunately persistent erection. It weighed heavy and flush against his stomach, pre-cum drooling down a bit. Jared lifted the sheets of his bed and pushed them aside before turning his attention back to his throbbing erection. He gave his cock a few tentative strokes and sighed softly. His thumb grazed over his head, expanding the glans as another finger swivelled around the slit.

 

Jared groaned. He had only jacked off all of 4 hours ago and now he was at it again like some bloody hormonal teenager. He needed to get himself, _and his dick_ , under control. So what if his unexpectedly beautiful co-star was also kind and caring. He was probably straight, and Jensen would never want someone like Jared. He was too cool and easy going, and Jared was just a nerdy freak with a beard that could barely grow and an oversized penis that got in the way of everything.

 

Sighing, Jared slapped his dick in frustration and got out of his bed, walking over to the bathroom to get ready for the day ahead, dick weightily swinging from thigh to thigh like a goddamn metronome. He wasn’t gonna let his arousal make him late for work.

 

Jared stood in the shower, head bowed beneath the weight of the water gushing over him. His hair was flattened against his scalp, curling over his forehead, in wet little clumps. He inhaled and felt the heated air suck down in to his lungs, cloying and thick with the smell of coconut scented soap. He leant one hand against the tiled wall, and allowed the water to cascade down his back, pummelling against his shoulder-blades in soothing swathes.

 

His mind wandered over thoughts of Jensen, green eyes smiling constantly.

 

Jared’s mind shifted again, to the dream that he had had the night before, that had taken him over so completely. Then, Jensen’s eyes took on a different hue, green shades turning darker with shared lust. Jensen’s accent came back to Jared, then, easily remembered and familiar, drawlingly soft and gasping as they made love, lips parted, head thrown back, eyes firmly closed against the backwash of pleasure they were sharing. 

 

But that was just a dream. Jared hadn’t even seen the man shirtless. _God, I am so screwed_. This obsession was completely out of hand.

 

Neverthless, Jared murmured out a note of arousal as his dick began to stiffen and he kept his mind upon the other man, and the way that Jensen gave him beautiful smiles when they talked. _So much for not letting arousal make me late,_ Jared thought shamefully.

 

He moaned again, as he lost himself completely to the sounds and sights of Jensen in his mind’s eye and for an all too brief moment, he thought he caught the scent of Jensen against him, his distinctive cologne and the feel of his strong, broad back. Jared wrapped eager fingers around his cock and began to stroke, huffing breaths breaking through the constant stream of water now battering against his turned up face.

 

He continued leaning against the tiled wall for support with his free hand, as he stroked harder, faster, more desperately at his cock. He envisioned Jensen’s lips upon him, wrapped tight and hot against him, and he moaned loudly into the gushing wet silence of the bathroom.

 

He felt his time coiling closer, pin-pricks of starburst pleasure coiling beneath his navel and he stroked harder, fingers moving erratically now against himself. He thought of Jensen spread out against his bed, languid eyes closed in sleep, his body relaxed in long lines. He imagined Jensen’s way of whispering hushed caresses against his ear and Jared came hard, Jensen’s name heavy upon his lips and bouncing back at him from the tiles. He stroked himself through his climax, head bowed now, eyes open and sightless, finally stopping when he was left weakened and sated.

 

 _Okay,_ Jared thought. _That’s the last time you do that. He’s your co-star for god’s sake. Time to just let it go and do your job._

 

Jared stepped out of the steaming shower and thoroughly dried off his hair, pits, chest and hastily dried his two long legs and his groin. He didn’t have time to get completely dry.

 

Jared walked out of the bathroom to the dresser in the corner of his new bedroom and put on an undershirt then a flannel while he waited for his dick to calm down, then shimmied some tight briefs up his legs and tucked his now flaccid cock between his legs, awkwardly crushing his balls and pulling the waistband up to leave him with a somewhat average-looking bulge. Jared then grabbed a clean pair of boxers and slid them on over the briefs, a pair of blue ones with Garfield on them that he got from Alexis as a gag gift from back when he was on _Gilmore Girls_.

 

Jared looked at himself in the mirror as he sat down on the edge of the bed while putting on his socks and boots. It may have been late April, but Vancouver had long winters, Jared was discovering, and he decided he needed a coat. He grabbed his dad’s old favourite from the wooden cupboard and walked to the door of the apartment. He looked behind and realised his bed was unmade, but checking his watch made him realise just how late he was going to be to his first day on set if he didn’t leave right now.

 

He locked the door and strode to his car, nervousness and anticipation wracking him once more.

 

~

 

“So the first scene we’ll be rehearsing today is a scene in the pilot where you two are in the library and are researching a case,” Kripke said, clasping his hands together and rocking back and forth on his feet. “If all goes well and this pilot gets picked up, you guys will be doing a lot of these scenes, so let’s really settle into this and try to play up that brotherly dynamic.”

 

Jared nodded and sipped his cup of coffee which had been waiting for him when he arrived at the filming lot, savouring the warmth and bitter kick caffeine. They had spent the morning talking about Eric’s vision for the show and potential storylines up ahead so that everyone could really properly grasp the concept of the show. Jared found himself becoming increasingly more excited with every passing hour. Eric really knew what he was doing, and this was certainly much different from anything he’d ever done on _Gilmore Girls_. Also, he had discovered that he may or may not get to have demon powers? That was certainly something new.

 

Jared felt a hand on his shoulder and a hot breath of air on his neck. “Eric looks so excited,” Jensen murmured warmly. Jared felt a shiver that went straight to his cock.

 

Jared collected himself and smiled. “Yeh I know. I think we might be onto something special here.” He turned around and looked at Jensen, and could feel the heat rising to his cheeks when met with Jensen’s beautiful smile from those dazzlingly white teeth. Jared chuckled and turned back to Eric. _Just your co-star, Jared. That’s all._

 

“Alrighty folks, here are your scripts,” Eric said, handing one each to Jared and Jensen before stepping back and rubbing his hands together, “and let’s get down to it.”

 

~

  
“Let me try,” Jared said, reaching towards the computer at the table. Jensen smacked his hand away playfully. They were doing the research scene in the library, and the crew had set up a stage with a table with a computer on it and some chairs along with bookshelves on either side of it.

 

“Um, actually Jensen,” Eric interrupted, “can you make that smack a bit harder? The brothers are meant to be playful, yes, but they’re both pretty riled up, okay?”

 

Jensen chuckled and winked at Jared. “Yep, all good sir, sorry about that.” Jared just about died then and there.

 

“All right then, from the top,” Eric said.

 

“Let me try,” Jared said, reaching for the computer.

 

Jensen slapped his hand away with more force this time and said, “I’ve got it,” knitting his eyebrows in determination.

 

Jared pushed Jensen’s chair out of the way and grabbed the computer, taking over with force.

  
“Dude!” Jensen cried indignantly, hitting Jared in the shoulder. “You’re such a control freak.”

 

Jared raised his eyebrows and huffed annoyedly, typing into the computer.

  
“So angry spirits are born out of violent death, right?” Jared questioned, still looking straight ahead at the laptop.

  
Jensen pulled his chair and scooched over. “Yeah.”

  
“Well, maybe it's not murder,” Jared said in his best _I might know something you don’t_ voice. Jared typed some more and felt Jensen beside him moving closer to ‘look’ at the computer screen. “This was 1981,” Jared declared. “Constance Welch, twenty-four years old, jumps off Sylvania Bridge, drowns in the river.” Jared pointed at the imaginary picture on the computer.

  
“Does it say why she did it?” Jensen asked, intently looking at the computer alongside Jared.

  
“Yeah,” Jared simply replied.

  
“What?” Jensen asked.

  
Jared continued, “an hour before they found her, she calls 911. Apparently her two little kids are in the bathtub. She leaves them alone for a minute, and when she comes back, they aren't breathing,” Jared said in a quiet voice, shaking his head slightly and pushing back from the table. “Both die.”

 

Jensen _hmmmed_ in Jared’s ear, and Jared swallowed thickly, trying not to get set off by such a small thing. Jensen turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. Jared returned the gaze, and for a moment got lost in the bright green shine of his eyes before lightly coughing. They both turned back to the computer.

  
“’Our babies were gone, and Constance just couldn't bear it,' said husband Joseph Welch,’” Jared read aloud, tracing his finger along the imaginary article on the computer screen.

  
“The bridge look familiar to you?” Jensen asked questionably, turning his head to look at Jensen once more.

 

“And cut!” Eric called out. “That was perfect you guys. I honestly don’t think we need to do that again.”

 

Jensen smiled and clasped a hand on Jared’s shoulder. “Awesome. What’s next?”

 

~

 

“So this next scene is going to be on a bridge, but for rehearsal just now you guys can just use this room,” Eric explained. “This scene is really about the rising tension between the brothers over their respective feelings about their mother.”

 

Jared nodded and listened intently.

 

“So for you,” Eric pointed at Jensen, “you’re gonna be pretty angry since Sam, you Jared,” he pointed at him, “talk about your Mum without much reverence since you never really knew her. Whereas Dean has this perfect image of this beautiful mother that was taken from him too soon.”

 

Jared saw Jensen raise his hand in question out of the corner of his eye.

 

“Yes, Jensen?”

 

“So is it alright if I get a bit angry,” Jensen asked, motioning with his hands, “or like, rough Sam up a bit, y’know, in defence of our mom?”

 

“Yeh that’d be great,” Eric said excitedly, “do whatever comes naturally.”

 

“Cool,” Jensen said, sticking his hands in his pockets. Jared caught himself staring too long and turned back to Eric.

 

“Alright, from the top. Remember guys, passion!”

 

~

 

  
Jared and Jensen walked side by side until Jensen stopped and gestured around them. “So this is where Constance took the swan dive.”

 

Jared looked around and nodded. “So you think Dad would have been here?” Jared asked, looking over at Jensen.

 

“Well, he's chasing the same story and we're chasing him,” Jensen said distractedly, before moving on again and walking, Jared following close behind.

 

“Okay, so now what?” Jared wondered.

 

Jensen walked determinedly forward. “Now we keep digging until we find him,” Jensen said. “Might take a while.”

 

Jared stopped in his tracks and cocked his head slightly. “Dean, I told you, I've gotta get back by Monday—"

 

Jensen whirled around and interrupted Jared before he could finish. “Monday. Right. The interview,” Jensen murmured out between gritted teeth, jaw set. Jared could feel his anger. _This is good, we’re nailing this._

 

“Yeah,” Jared said, looking down at his feet.

 

“Yeah, I forgot. You're really serious about this, aren't you?” Jensen said, voice rising in volume and ridicule. “You think you're just going to become some lawyer? Marry your girl?” He said incredulously.

 

Jared stood up tall in challenge. “Maybe. Why not?”

 

Jensen spread his arms out wide. “Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you've done?” He asked pointedly.

 

Jared clenched his jaw and stepped forward as menacingly as he could. “No, and she's not ever going to know.”

 

Jensen chuckled mirthlessly. “Well, that's healthy. You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are!” Jensen exclaimed before turning around and walking off again down the length of the room.

 

Jared followed after him again. “And who's that?”

 

“You're one of us.”

 

“No. I'm not like you,” Jared protested, walking around to the front to talk to Jensen face to face. “This is not going to be my life!” He said intently, glaring at Jensen, who was equally riled up, green eyes going dark.  
  


Jensen started. “You have a responsibility to—"

 

Jared jumped in. “To Dad? And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like,” Jared cried, his speaking voice turning to a shout. “And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone!” Jared shouted in anger, feeling an intensity rise from within him, looking at Jensen eyes blazing with fury and feeling like his whole body was on fire. “And she isn't coming back!”

 

Jared gasped in surprise and felt his face flush as Jensen yanked at his shirt collar and pushed him up against the wall, leg to leg, chest to chest, face to face. Jared gazed into Jensen’s eyes, neither of them looking away. Jared felt and smelt Jensen’s coffee-scented breath. He could also see a similar flush in Jensen’s cheeks beneath him as Jared locked legs with him, squirming as he held his gaze. The fingers of Jensen’s free hand curled into the collar of Jared’s jacket to help hold him at bay. Jensen’s laboured breath mingled with his own, heat in the air.

 

Jared twisted to get a better angle to try and get himself out of the grip. But then, he froze, eyes going huge as he stared down at Jensen. Breathing hard.

 

Jensen froze too, seeming to notice at the exact same moment. The fun at his little game abruptly drained from his face to be replaced with something closer to fury. The hand at Jared’s collar tightened as he shoved at Jared, as if to really push him away. Not playing anymore.

 

Because he definitely had a cock pressed against his thigh. A hard one. 

 

Jared let out a confused sound, like air being let out of a balloon as Jensen shoved him off.

 

They both stared at each other for a second, for what felt like a thousand years. Jensen’s jaw was slightly ajar like he was gonna say something - before he snapped it shut, jutting his chin out and glaring Jared down.He opened his mouth again to speak. “Don't talk about her like that.”

 

Jensen released Jared and walked away, heading down the other edge of the room.

 

 _What the fuck just happened?_ Jared thought, his brain going a mile a minute. _Was that an erection? Did he feel mine as well? Is this scene still going?_

Jared breathed out and walked to catch up with Jensen, quickly checking Eric’s reaction out of the corner of his eye. His face didn’t seem to portray that there was anything wrong.

  
“Sam,” Jensen said, snapping Jared out of his daze. Jared looked over and saw Jensen pointing, remembering where they were in the scene.

  
“Where'd she go?” Jensen said, slightly out of breath.

  
“I don't know,” Jared replied, trying to avoid eye contact. His cheeks burned.

  
“CUT!” Eric shouted. “Guys, that was amazing! Bloody perfect,” he exclaimed, walking over to the two of them and placing a hand on each shoulder. “If you guys do that again with cameras and lighting, I think we’ve got ourselves a real show.”

 

Jared smiled meekly and looked across at Jensen, to see if he had anything to say. Jensen just stared ahead.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you guys liked it! I've got a few ideas for way to go next for this so the break between now and the next update should be significantly shorter, since exams will be pretty much over in a week. Would love to hear what y'all think! Kudos and comments are love :) <3


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